2 boys under 2, and a wife who is exhausted and in pain and still has an amazingly strong spirit... mostly directed at instructions or some sort of disgust toward me. I'm worn thin from the constant swell of emotions in my home, reminding myself about the fruits of the Spirit that just won't cooperate with my pompous fleshly nature.
We have a 3 week old, whom we're learning to live with. I must confess that I've never been the guy that says, "The moment I held my child in my arms was the greatest moment of my life." I feel like all the church folks should get torches and pitchforks after me, but it takes me some time to learn to love (or should I say "like") those crying little people that seem to require know right when you're about to sit down to eat.
At this point, I'm running thin on all this bearing with others business. One piece of wisdom seems to be my only hope in persevering, and it is the one thing that really scrapes for all of my strength that I have left: DON'T BE OFFENDED. I feel like my wonderful wife has all of a sudden focused all of her post-birth trauma and negative emotion directly at my soul; like a tidal wave of disaster sweeping toward my house.
It's not meant for you; she's tired and she feels like an overworked, underpaid cow - everybody in the family wants some part of her body, and just cries and cries until she gives in (including me... you know, the post-birth abstinance... how long do we have to wait again??).
Through all of the seemingly disrespectful comments, orders, looks, etc, lies the beginning of an epic love story. The story of a beautiful princess trapped in a castle of thoughts and pain that she cannot escape, no matter how much I tell myself that she should be treating me differently... with more respect and honor. I'm the man! No, I realize I have to fight for this bride of mine; the wife of my youth. I won her once, and I must go back there to win her heart again; to rescue her from the pains of this world and wisk her away into the soft pillow of love.
This I know, I cannot let these thoughts against my bride, which consume my very being, continue. They are not my thoughts, but were planted by an enemy, and I must do all in my power to rescue my true bride. To first bring her to the forefront of my mind and heart so that I can bring the reality of those thoughts to her. I must conform all of my thoughts and all of my words to fit the image of the beautiful wife of my youth. She will be set free, with the Lord as my help.
- "A man's wisdom yields patience; it is to one's glory to overlook an offense." Proverbs 19:11
